It goes without saying that I’ve been in the midst of a significant blogging drought. It’s not so much that I don’t have anything to say, but more that what I have to say I have not wanted to say here. However, I have decided that it’s time to break the silence and to do so in a way that is innocuous, but perhaps useful.
Many of my readers (both of them) know that I have become a rather compulsive collector of movies. In order to prevent this activity from breaking my personal bank, I have also refined my ability to find the movies I buy at bargain prices. In fact, a rarely broken rule is that any movie I buy must be less than $10.
In recent months, however, my journeys down the aisles of Blockbuster, Circuit City, and Target had begun to yield less and less fruit. The problem seems to be that there are fewer and fewer movies that meet the intersection of “desired price range” and “worthy of ownership”. In the interest of preventing my habit from driving me to purchase any more films like Oceans 12, I had to find another approach. Enter my new Blockbuster Online account. Going in this direction presented several immediate benefits: 1) I could scout for movies that might be worthy of ownership, 2) I could intentionally watch movies I suspected were bad but possibly fun, and 3) I would get one free game rental per month. All of these benefits could be had for the cost of 2 copies of Oceans 12, and with none of the associated regrets.
With this preamble, I now enter the crowded and contentious territory of movie reviews. Please understand that there are MANY more movies in category 2 (listed just above) than in category 1 (also listed above). As a result, I will kindly suggest that if you are going to mock my choice in movies, that you at least make such mockery entertaining for the other(s) that read this esteemed blog. I will, at least, attempt to make the depth of review of marginal movies consistent with the depth of quality. Unless a film reaches to new depths of abysmalality, I will not give bad films much ink (many pixels?). Without further ado, here are the first round:
Accepted – I selected this film because I wanted the answer to one question: If a person wanted to create a completely fictitious university, how would that person go about it? While the movie, as expected, did not delve too deeply into the answer to this question (or any other for that matter), it did provide some (very) cheap laughs. Let me be clear: this movie relied on crude humor, merciless stereotyping, and a predictable plot line. This isn’t Shakespeare, folks. Still, it was more or less fun in a I-should-be-disappointed-in-myself kind of way. If there was nothing else to see, I might have caught it once at the dollar theater. It does, by the way, give you a chance to see the “I’m a Mac” guy on a slightly larger stage. IMDB: 6.2 – that’s in the right ballpark.
Fantastic 4 – When I was a kid, I liked to watch the SuperFriends. I even owned a comic book or two. Now that I’m grown up, I really like a great superhero movie, like Batman Returns. I also get really annoyed when Hollywood puts out junk in the guise of a super hero movie, like Batman and Robin. My definition, in fairness, tends to include that the movie have grown-up appeal, if a protagonist in tights (Shakespeare not included) can be considered grown-up. I think people like me are the reason that Fantastic 4 got panned. The thing is, when you think about the 5-8 year old set, Fantastic Four was actually a decent flick. As it turned out, my oldest daughter (6.5 years old) watched most of this one with me and actually liked it. The savvy reader may deduce from this that the movie was pretty tame. The savvy reader would be right. There were plenty of special effects. I imagine that the human torch and Thing would be the two favorites among little boys. Sorry, Plastic Man. Reed Richards is a pretty lame dude. That’s just the way it is. I’m curious to see what they do with the soon-to-be-released Silver Surfer Sequel. IMDB: 5.9 – For a kid-friendly flick, I think this is low. If you’re comparing it to Batman Begins, it may be a bit high.
Invincible – It’s a sports movie. It’s based on a true story. It involves a bartender that tries out for and makes the NFL. There’s nothing much left to the imagination after that. Yeah, we’ve all seen movies like this. They don’t make “based on a true story” sports movies about the wannabe baseball pitcher, football player, or Olympic hockey team that gave it their all and fought through adversity to still, well, suck. This movie is nothing if not predictable. But I liked it anyway. Seeing the 70’s cars, haircuts, clothes, and hearing the pretty cool soundtrack were half the fun. And while the heroes never suck in the end of movies like this, the bottom line is that they are all based on compelling stories. The only thing I wanted at the end was a little more “where they are now”, particularly a bit about his ex-wife. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I mean. IMDB: 7.0 – Sounds good to me.
Casino Royale – Bond, James Bond. To say that this movie redefines the character may in fact be understating the point. Gone is the reliance on cheesy gadgets and cheesier villains. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t know that I have ever seen a Bond movie that I didn’t enjoy on some level. The fact is, however, that Bond was becoming more and more like Dirk Pitt (for those of you that have read a Cussler novel). This movie reverses that trend. James is still skilled, suave, and fun to watch. But this time around, there is an attempt to make things a bit more realistic. For instance, the primary plot device is not “villain bent on destroying all of human kind”. There is also more depth to James. You actually see something bordering on emotion. Furthermore, there is an attempt to explain some of what we have seen of Bond in other movies. Don’t take all this to mean that 007 spends the entire movie staring at the moon and thinking about his inner self. This movie has some classic scenes in it. Near the beginning of the movie is what may very well be the best “on foot” chase scene I have ever seen. There is also a torture scene a bit further along that will leave the guys that see it cringing just a bit. The bottom line is that this is a rental that I will go back and buy. If you care for spy flicks at all, you should check this one out. IMDB gives this one a 7.9. I would probably bump it to 8.5.
I would like to dedicate this post to MA and JS, who have harassed me without ceasing about my absence from the blogosphere. This one is for you.
